The person you end up with isn’t 100% responsible for your success or failure in achieving your goals, but they do play a significant role. Probably much more of a role than most people think.
Your relationship is like the foundation of a house. If the foundation is strong and supportive, then the house will be able to withstand whatever challenges come its way. However, if the foundation is weak or unstable, the house will struggle to stay standing.
In this article, I’m going to dive into why who you end up with is so crucial in determining whether or not you’ll hit your goals.
Emotional Contagion
Over time, individuals in close relationships tend to synchronize their moods (emotional contagion). This can lead to shared feelings of happiness, sadness, or anxiety, depending on the situation. This synchronization helps in creating a shared emotional experience, strengthening the bond between individuals.
If you choose a partner who is overly negative, pessimistic and lacks motivation, their emotional state will likely hurt you. On the other hand, if you choose a partner who is positive, motivated, and driven, their emotions can be contagious and inspire you to push harder toward your goals.
Habit Formation
The longer you’re with someone, the more of a chance there is to pick up habits they have. If you happen to develop a close relationship with someone who has a lot of bad habits, as much as you don’t think they will rub off on you, they often do. On the other hand, if your partner has good habits that align with your goals, it can be a powerful tool in helping you reach them.
This is significant in any type of relationship, whether it be a romantic partner, friend, or even a mentor. The habits of those closest to you can greatly influence your habits and ultimately impact your success in achieving your goals. With that being said:
- If your partner is into fitness, it’s more likely that you’ll prioritize working out and staying healthy.
- If your partner is a successful entrepreneur, it’s more likely that you’ll become motivated to start your own business.
- If your partner has a positive mindset, it’s more likely that you’ll adopt a similar outlook on life.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict triggers the limbic system and amygdala, which can lead to an “amygdala hijack” where you lose access to the prefrontal cortex that regulates higher-order functions like empathy, decision-making, and problem-solving.
Conflicts could even cause physical symptoms like raised heart rate, sweating, muscle tension, and nausea which also makes it hard to concentrate.
Put simply, constant escalated conflicts can lead to you and your partner being in a constant state of fight or flight, which does not help you optimize achieving your goals. On the other hand, being in a relationship with someone who has effective conflict resolution skills and focuses on finding solutions rather than escalating conflicts can greatly benefit your ability to stay focused and motivated toward your goals.
To add to this, when there’s constant conflict, you never know when it’s going to happen next. So you may spend an overwhelming amount of time trying to make sure that everything you say and do is perfect, which can be exhausting and distracting from your goals as well.
There’s also another side to conflict resolution. This is conflict avoidance. You want a partner that will not shy away from discussing important topics. If you don’t discuss these important issues on a regular basis, things may get worse in the future because of the fact that avoiding issues that bother you may lead to resentment and being absent altogether.
Adapting Goals To Maintain Relationship Stability
How you both approach your goals is extremely important. Even if one partner is more ambitious off the jump than the other, over time couples tend to start syncing their goals to create a more cohesive unit. So this results in one person improving their goal-setting habits, or they might do the opposite and lessen their goals to avoid conflict with their partner.
It takes 10-12 months for your partner’s goals to start influencing yours, so this is something that can slowly creep up on you.
Your Financial Habits Partially Rely On Your Partner
A big part of being successful lies in the way you take care of your finances. What you do with your money over time is the single most important thing you’ll do in your relationship (in terms of success).
Let’s say you end up with a partner who doesn’t really care about spending, which is true for a lot of people. They tend to be more focused on enjoying the moment without much thought about long-term financial planning.
There was a survey done by Forbes, and in that survey, 86% of the people involved believe that couples with similar financial goals and habits experience more successful relationships and are more likely to achieve their goals.
Setbacks Happen, Who’s There For You In Those Times?
Give me a person on this planet who hasn’t suffered a setback in their life.
Don’t want to be negative, but unfortunately, you will go through rough patches in life, and your romantic partner needs to be there for you.. It could be a job loss, an unexpected expense, or a personal tragedy. These setbacks can take a toll on us emotionally and financially.
Who’s there to support you in those times will either build you up or break you down. In the midst of building yourself back up, the last thing you want is to have a partner who adds additional stress by not being supportive or doubting your abilities to overcome the setback.
Intellectual Stimulation
Another aspect of a relationship that impacts your ability to achieve goals is whether or not that person challenges you intellectually and introduces you to new ideas/perspectives. Being with someone who is curious, always learning, and values personal growth can greatly expand your mindset and creativity when pursuing ambitious goals. They expose you to different ways of thinking that can unlock innovative solutions.
On the flip side, being with someone who’s closed-minded and has no interest in bettering themselves could stunt your own growth. This could be because you may get to the point where it feels pointless trying to have deep conversations or explore new subjects since your partner shows no enthusiasm.
Overall Personal Growth
An emotionally immature or stagnant partner can hold you both back from meaningful growth. If they are unwilling to self-reflect, remain stuck in toxic patterns, and have no drive for self-improvement, it becomes very difficult for either of you to truly thrive. You may find yourself giving up goals or dreams to avoid outgrowing or leaving behind a partner resistant to change. Having a partner interested in lockstep growth keeps you both continuously evolving together toward greater fulfillment.